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Post by Ina-Mai on Nov 4, 2008 17:38:40 GMT 1
Monday, November 03, 2008 <3 Tour/ Russia/ ToyZ/ Berlin <3 Hey ya ;D hope u are all fine! I've relaxed a lot and take some sleep the last days and having some fun with my friends at parties ^^ The tour was just amazing! Russia, I <3 u!!!!!!!! One of my biggest dreams was real, to play concerts in russia <3 it was so much fun to rock with u guys! And our party was also very very hot!! thx for singing with us ;D nas ne dagoniat ;P As you see, our new album will be called 'ToyZ', so u all can be very excited ;D For the ones who haven't already've seen the trailer... www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbnm7w17OiUI'm lookin forwar for the concerts in december ;D will be much fun,...but till then, I will see my family and friends the next days, so, I'm very very happy! I've such a great mother and I want to thank her for everything she had done for me in my life!!! Later, I will post some cool pics we were making @ our tour ;D I hate this f****'n weather, it's so cold here,...  some holidays on the beach would be great ;D I wish u a very nice week ;D and see ya soon greetz kiro. P.S.: Soon, I will get my first tattoo...;D but I won't tell anything ;P |
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Post by Mistress Snowy aka Yuki-sama on Nov 5, 2008 0:08:36 GMT 1
This'll be a bissl long so bear with me:
Chapter 1.
"HOL!!"
"What's wrong?" The less than bright computer answered.
"Tell Rimmer he's a total smeghead."
"Tell him yourself!"
BOOM!! There was a deafening earthquake aboard the ship.
"What the smegging smeg was that Hol?!"
"Hold on, lemme have a look...." Holly looked out of the window of the mining ship Red Dwarf.
"What is it?"
"We've been hit by a stray asteroid, nothing more sinister."
"Right. Any damage done to the ship?"
"Not really."
"You're really helpful Holly." Lister said as he calmed down from his miniature heart attack.
"Oh dear." came a sarcastic voice which could only belong to the hologram of Arnold Judas Rimmer.
"What do you want Rimmer?"
"Look at you! Panicking over a smegging asteroid."
"I bet you thought it was aliens, dincha Rimmer?"
"No..." Rimmer said as he looked inconspicuously around his and Lister's sleeping quarters.
"Yes ya did!" Lister was teasing him now.
"Oh.... smeg off!" And Rimmer stormed out of the room, pushing his way past Cat, who always was shallow.
"OOOWWW! I'm baaack, feeling goood - feed me." was Cat's usual greeting.
"Y'alright Cat?" Lister greeted back as he got his Cat some Rice Krispies with milk.
"Yeah, whats wrong with Goalpost Head?"
"He's in denial. He thought we were being attacked by aliens when it was just an asteroid."
"Oh so THAT'S what woke me up?"
"Yeah." Lister said apologetically.
Cat sighed and began his third breakfast of the day.
Chapter 2
There was silence in the sleeping quarters that night, and a very awkward one at that. It was driving Lister up the wall. He made many failed attempts to make conversation with his holographic roomie because Rimmer just wouldn't respond.
"Rimmer."
No response.
"Rimmeeeerrrr....?"
Still no response. So he got off his top bunk and screamed in his ear:
"RIMMER!!" and scared the living daylights out of him.
"What?! I was trying to sleep!"
"No, you were trying to PRETEND to sleep and failing miserably. Talk to me, man. You rambling on about your smegged-up childhood is better than you not talking at all."
"Really?"
"Yeah. It ain't easy being the only human in existence when the only company you have is a hologram, a cat, an android and a computer."
"Tell me about it. It's even worse being a hologram, not being able to touch anything."
"Wow... what do we sound like?"
"A couple of twenty-somethings having a mid-life crisis?"
"hehe, you could say that. Fancy a drink?"
"Are you asking me out, Lister?" Rimmer said jokingly.
"Noo, I just wanna have fun."
"With me?"
"Yeah.... why not?"
"Well don't I feel popular? ............ Oh, why not? Get yer gladrags on."
"Rimmer, honestly... I don't do gladrags."
So the two roomies went to the disco to have a drink and drown their sorrows. It turned out they were having a damn good laugh. Something they never did when Rimmer was still alive, three million years ago.
"I'll be honest with you Listy, I envy you." Rimmer managed to say, majorly slurring his words. Man they were drunk.
"You wha? You envy ME?" Lister replied in disbelief.
"Yes, I envy you, you were popular when the whole crew was here, you had friends even though you were the lowest rank on the ship. I on the other hand, I was the class clown, so to speak. Everyone made fun of me. Even you."
"Aww Rimmer you know I don't mean it." Lister sounded like he was about to cry when he said this.
"You don't?"
"Naah, you'm a great guy really. I bet ya pretend to be a total smeghead to go with people's per-per-what's-its of ya." Lister laughed cuz he couldn't say the word 'perceptions' whilst drunk. So did Rimmer actually. They almost fell asleep at the table they were sitting at with their drinks in hand.
"Oh my God, Lister."
"Wha?"
"We are SO drunk. We'll need Cat and Kryten to carry us to our beds." They both found this hilarious when no-one in their sober mind usually would.
"Yeah, we might as well get back now. Come along Rimsy." Lister hoisted his holographic friend and they both carried each other - well, tried to, but ended up crawling - back to their sleeping quarters.
When they finally managed to get back to their room, Lister just collapsed onto Rimmer's bed with him, and it didn't take them long to get comfortable. Well, they WERE plastered like wallpaper, so what else can ya expect?
"Night Listy."
"Night Rimsy." They gave each other a soft peck goodnight, but it turned out to last much longer than intended, and it ended up a bit more passionate than intended.
Eek.
Chapter 3
The next morning Rimmer woke with a blinding headache, saw Lister next to him with his arms round him and thought 'Oh smeg.' and tried not to go back to sleep without much luck. He ended up having to get out of bed so he could freshen up.
"Holly, a shower please."
Holly did as he was told and gave Rimmer a nice wake up shower.
"Aah that's better. Uniform."
Rimmer was dressed within a heartbeat.
"Thankyou Holly. Aspirin please, for this blinding headache."
Rimmer forced himself to swallow the *virtual* aspirin that Holly gave him.
"Thanks, I hope this kicks in pretty soon." And Rimmer headed off.
*about an hour later*
"OOOWWWW!! I'm baaack, feeling gooood - feed me."
"Ugh, not right now Cat, I'm hungover."
"What did you do last night? And why are you sleeping in Goalpost Head's bed?"
"I'm not in -" Lister looked around. "Oh smeg. Hol, did Rimmer and I, y'know, do anything?"
"I dunno what you mean."
"What he's trying to say is why is he in Goalpost Head's bed?"
"I dunno, I wasn't paying attention."
"You're very useful Hol." said an exasperated Lister. And then it hit him. He and Rimmer shared a passionate kiss before they went to sleep. Lister gradually got more and more shocked as he realised that it had actually happened. He then rushed out of the bed to the nearest bathroom to wake himself up.
"Smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg!!" Lister repeated to himself as he banged his head against the wall. This only made Lister's equally blinding headache worse so he didn't re-surface out of that bathroom for a while.
---------------------------------------------------
"Erm, where's Lister?" asked Rimmer.
"Dunno." answered Holly.
"You're really useful, y'know that Hol? I've looked all over the place for him and he's nowhere to be seen. What if he's hurt himself?" said Rimmer without making an attempt to hide the worry in his voice.
"Why you so worried about him anyway? You hate him don't you?"
"Oh come on Cat, whoever said anything about me hating him? I just highly enjoy driving him insane." Rimmer answered with a sarcastic smile.
"And without Lister around, you'll end up driving us insane too."
"Don't I do that anyway?"
"Well yeah but it'll be even worse without Lister."
"Mr Rimmer sir, Mr Cat, I think I've found Lister." Kryten interrupted the small argument between Rimmer and the Cat.
"Where is he?" Rimmer asked immediately.
"He's in the bathroom just down the corridor from here."
"Right, let's get him."
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The reason for Lister "going missing", so to speak, is that he banged his head on the wall that hard he knocked himself out!! Only slightly though, after all he WAS hungover. And he was having panic attacks over his relationship with Rimmer. Had things changed, because they kissed? Or were things still the same? Did Rimmer even feel anything for him in that way? Or was it just a game to him? What did Rimmer think of it all? Why the hell is he panicking in the first place? All these questions were beginning to hurt Lister's head as he was woken up by Rimmer's worried call for him. And for some strange reason, hearing Rimmer's voice made his heart skip a beat. Oh dear God, was Lister.... falling for Rimmer?! Was that even possible?
"Lister!" Rimmer ran over to him and gave him a big big hug, to which Lister only too eagerly responded. "Lister are you alright?" Rimmer asked as he held Lister's head in his hands.
"Yeah, I think so...."
"Lister, you're bleeding!" Rimmer cried.
"Am I? Surely I can't have hurt my head THAT bad..." Lister was concussed and therefore confused about the situation.
"Mr Rimmer sir, it seems that Mr Lister has concussion; we must take him to the medical sector immediately." Kryten intervened.
"OK, let's go Listy." Rimmer picked Lister up so he could carry him to the medical sector of the ship.
"Aww smeg, my head's killing me."
*about an hour later*
"There we go Mr Lister sir, all bandaged up."
"Thanks Kryten." As Lister began to stand up, Rimmer tried to hold him down.
"Lister you ought to get some rest. I'll let you sleep in my bed."
"You don't have to Rimmer-"
"I want to..... I was worried sick about you."
"Cheers man, I appreciate it." Lister beckoned Rimmer over for another big big bear hug, which Rimmer responded to this time. Kryten burst into tears.
"Whats the matter Kryt?"
"Oh it's just.... so beautiful!" Rimemr and Lister were weirded out by this at first, but then they got a bit iffy about Kryten possibly knowing about their antics last night. They then exchanged worried looks much to Cat's oblivion.
*a few days pass*
Lister had fully recovered from his disasterous morning after the night before incident, and needed a word with Kryten.
"'Ere Kryten.... I know you're not human but I need to talk to someone."
"Oh, about what Mr Lister sir?"
"About... me and Rimmer. I can't talk to Cat about it cuz he wouldn't understand, and I can't talk to Rimmer about it because... I dunno, it's complicated. And Holly's IQ is equivalent to that of 6000 PE teachers, so you're the only one I can talk to, really."
"Ah-Hah. So, what's the problem, Mr Lister sir?"
"Well....... it's only been a week since I went for that drink with Rimmer and got wasted with him, but...... when we said goodnight we kind of... kissed."
"You kissed? Like, a romantic kiss?" Kryten looked sickened by the thought.
"NO! Well, yeah but it wasn't intended at all. I just wanted a peck on the cheek, not a full-on snog. And now I'm confused."
"Confused, sir? Why would you be confused?"
"Well, I dunno how to say this but...... I'm starting to- I'm starting to... fall for him."
"Well Mr Lister sir, I really don't know what to say."
"Please Kryten, help me. Could you... talk to Rimmer for me?"
"I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything."
"Cheers Kryt. I really appreciate it." Lister was immediately cheered up and he left Kryten alone in his sleeping quarters.
'I'd appreciate it even more if there was another human on board the ship' he thought to himself and at that moment he saw three girls in the corner laughing rather loudly at a joke one of the girls had just told. Lister couldn't believe his eyes.
"Humans?" Lister shouted to them.
The three girls turned to Lister and walked over to him.
"Who's asking?" The purple-haired one asked.
"Dave Lister, the only human being in existence." He offered his hand to the purplehead. She shook it.
"Not anymore, Dave. I'm Psnowy, this is my lil sister Tamba, and this is my girlfriend Milly." she said and they all made each other known.
"So if I'm not the only human being on board anymore, and it's been 3 million years since I saw one, how the smeg did you get on board this ship?"
"Well....... I dunno really. I spose you could call us the Charlie's Angels of err..... matchmaking, if you like." Psnowy said with an evil smile as she flirtatiously played with her lip ring.
"Right, so... will you lovely ladies accompany me to the disco?" Lister asked.
"Sure." The three girls followed Lister to the disco to have some fun.
Chapter 4
*a few days later*
Lister hadn't seen those three girls since they had some fun at the disco that night. It was as if Lister dreamt those girls were on red Dwarf because they never really answered his question on how they got on board. But at the same time, he hadn't seen much of Rimmer either. He was getting a bit worried for his sanity because one day he sees other humans and then they vanish for days on end. What is the world coming to? And before Lister got a chance to get lost in his thoughts...
"Lister?"
"Oh, hi Rimmer." Lister tried to act calm around him.... but pretty much failed.
"How's it snowin?"
"Err...." Lister looked out of the window "it isn't." He gave a cheeky smile as he said this.
"Oh come off it Listy you know what I mean! Anywayz I meant how are you?"
"I'm not too bad thanks." Lister was still smiling.
"Y'know you look rather cute when you smile." Rimmer blurted out before he could stop himself.
"You really think so? Well I've always foung it rather attractive how you salute people all the time like you're asserting your authority over everyone else." Lister was slowly but surely edging his way closer to Rimmer who was blatantly turned on by that comment.
"I can always assert my authority over you if you like...." oh God.
"You do that every day anyway, not that I mind..." Lister replied and made his move on Rimmer by pulling the hologram's body closer to his own. That totally defeats the object but never mind.
"Now you're really trying it on. Are you OK Lister?" Rimmer asked with fake concern but secretly lovin the attention he's getting from Lister.
"I'm fine, why should anything be wrong with me?"
"Oh.... no reason." It was at this moment they let the chemistry between them get the better of them and they were kissing each other like they'd been gagging for it all their lives.
As they were going through each of the Bases - in case you didn't know, First Base is kissing, Second Base is hand jobs, Third Base is oral, and Fourth Base is full-on AP in their case...
"Bend over." Rimmer said in between kisses.
"What's Ben gotta do with it?" Lister replied.
"I said Bend Over. Don't make me force you."
Before Lister could object, Rimmer did indeed force him to bend over and he pushed his way inside of Lister and it turned him on to hear Lister groaning with utmost pleasure.
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As Cat was walking down the corridor, he was hearing strange noises coming from Rimmer and Lister's sleeping quarters and because the door wasn't closed, and Cat was as curious as any cat would be and had to have a looksee what was going on. Little did he know he was gunna get the shock of his life. He was frozen on the spot as he saw Rimmer and Lister banging each other like there was no tomorrow. They were that preoccupied with each other they didn't notice Cat frozen on the spot. To snap himself out of this mind-numbing trance, he ran straight to Kryten who was busy cleaning the kitchen area.
"Kryten!" Cat screamed in utter shock
"What's wrong Mr Cat?"
"Rimmer and Lister.... oh my God, the horror!"
"What are they doing, Cat?"
"They... they..... they...... oh man! They're doing it!"
"Doing what?"
"IT... as in..." Cat made the appropriate gesture so Kryten could understand the shocked Cat.
"Aah. Well. You see sir, I'm afraid they are indeed.... a couple."
The look on Cat's face was priceless. And those three girls returned.
"Who the hell are you?" Kryten and Cat asked the three girls.
"Oh.... we kind of know Dave." The black-haired girl, known as Tamba, answered.
"Lister?"
"Yeah..... is that a problem?" The redhead asked, called Milly.
"No, not at all...." Cat started to flirt with the purplehead, Psnowy.
"Sorry dahlin, I'm spoken for." Psnowy said and leaned over to kiss her pet Milly, who kissed back. This only turned the Cat on and he looked over at Kryten and gave him a look that said 'hell yeeeah' and he forgot about his trauma over witnessing Rimmer and Lister screwing each other's brains out.
Chapter 5
"Hey Dave." The unfamiliar voice made Lister look up.
"Hi... Tamba isn't it?"
"Yeah." She made herself better known to Lister, wearing the sluttiest outfit she owned, which obviously got Lister's attention.
"So what brings you here Tamba?"
"Oh I just wanted to get to know you better, because last time we met, Psnowy did all the talking." She said in her most flirtatious voice that seemed to be doing the trick, as well as her edging herself ever closer to Lister.
"Oh yeah, well where shall we start?" Lister was starting to feel awkward but at the same time, privileged to be getting all this attention, first from Rimmer and now from Tamba!
"From the bottom, working our way up, right to the top." Tamba answered, caressing all of Lister's body as she said this. And at the most inconvenient time, Rimmer walked in.
"What's going on?"
"Oh! Rimmer... it's nothin, really."
"It doesn't look like nothing. What the smeg is she doing with her hands all over you?"
"Oh sorry, I'll just go shall I?" Tamba said nervously and left.
"It ain't what it looked like, really."
"What was it then, if it wasn't what it looked like?!" Rimmer shouted.
"It was all her Rimmer!! She was tryina seduce me!"
"I didn't see you trying to push her away."
"It came without warning Rimmer! She wants me!!"
"And so do I but you're too busy flirting with other people!"
As they argued, Tamba couldn't help but listen intently with a huge grin on her face. Her plan was going well. Very well. She stalked off to find her roomies, Psnowy and Milly to start on part 2 of said plan; to get Kristine Kochanski back on board Red Dwarf.
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"Welcome back, Miss Kochanski." Psnowy greeted Lister's long-lost love interest.
"It feels good to be back. So what's this plan I'm supposed to be a part of, exactly?"
"Right, we're gunna get Rimmer and Lister together the hard way. Basically that means, that we've gotta make Rimmer all jealous of the attention Lister's getting, and then Rimmer will feel the need to confide in us about his feelings for Lister and as soon as we find out he's in love with the guy, we can get them together." Tamba said with the hugest cheesy grin on her face in the universe.
"OK, but why must it be so complicated?"
"Cuz we want it to be." Psnowy replied.
"So what do I do?"
"Basically you bitch about Lister's lack of fidelity to Rimmer, make him all suspicious and make sure he always sees Tamba flirt with him." Milly said.
"Basically split them up... kind of?"
"Yeah. So.... you up for it Krissie?" Psnowy held out her hand.
"Count me in." Kochanski shook Psnowy's hand as if to seal the deal.
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"Hello Rimmer."
"What the- Kristine Kochanski?" Rimmer said in disbelief.
"The one and only. So what's this I've been hearing about you and Lister, having a thing for one another?"
"Well, it's doubtful if we're actually a thing, to be fair... after seeing Lister with that... that.... girl."
"Oh, Tamba? Yeah, you know Lister, he won't turn down a free shag when it's on offer I hope you know."
"Really?"
"Yeeeah, I mean, OK Lister involved me in his life plan but I don't think he meant any of it."
Rimmer was getting worried about what Kochanski was saying. Very worried.
This was just the beginning..... ooooooooh dear.
*throughout the next couple of ays*
So this plan of Tamba's was going rather well. Too well, in fact. Lister was getting confused as to why Rimmer was against him all of a sudden, and why Tamba only seemed to flirt with him when Rimmer was in sight of them. So he went to confront the leader of the pack, Psnowy.
"'Ere Psnowy."
"Hey Dave, what's wrong?"
"I'm a bit confused. All this with Rimmer, it's doing my head in."
"Why? What's going on?"
"Well, this Tamba lass only flirts with me while Rimmer's in sight of us, and someone's been trying to split us up, not that we're definitely a couple anyway and it's gettin me down. y'know?"
"Bummer. Can't you try to talk to Rimmer about it?"
"How the smeg am I meant to talk to him? We won't believe a word I say, he keeps going on about me not meaning it. Are you guys tryina turn him against me?"
"No, Dave, not at all. If anything we're trying to get you two together."
"In that case, who's trying to split us up?"
"If I knew, I'd tell you straight away hun. We'll talk to Rimmer for you, OK?"
"Thanks Psnow. You're the greatest."
"Always happy to help, Dave." Psnowy accepted a kiss on the forehead from Dave and he left.
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"Rimmer?" Lister called anxiously.
"Oh it's you. What do you want?"
"I was just wondering.... who's been telling you this stuff about me not being loyal?"
"Oh, you wouldn't believe me if I said, so it's better you didn't know."
"Tell me Rimmer, I won't go mad."
"Alright...." Rimmer sighed. "It was..."
"Spit it out Rimmer."
"Kristine Kochanski."
"You're lying."
"I'm not, Listy! I swear to God, Kristine Kochanski's been bitching about you."
"OK. Suppose it IS Krissie, what was she saying?"
"Telling me about... you never turning down a free shag when it's on offer, and that you probably never meant a word of that life plan with her in it...."
"That's a load of bollocks, Rimmer! Of course I meant every word of that life plan, I wanted to go to Fiji with Krissie, set up a farm with two dogs, a sheep and a cow and have me own hot dog and doughnut stall. That was MY plan, Rimmer. I PLANNED it."
"And what's your plan now?"
"To find the love of my life and settle down without a hitch but that ain't going well at all is it? For one, the love of my life is dead-"
"Probably Kristine Kochanski-"
"Secondly, at this rate we'll never get together because I keep having Tamba seduce me - and don't get me wrong I don't mind the attention - but I feel awkward with her flirting!"
"You do?"
"Of course I do, man."
At this point the four girls walk in during their awkward silence.
"Is everything OK?" The purple-haired ringleader asked.
Chapter 6
"Yeah. Everything's fine, just fine." answered Rimmer with sarcasm.
"No it isn't, Rimmer. I can tell." Milly contradicted.
"How the smeg would you know?"
"Because this whole thing is our fault in the first place!" Psnowy shouted, in order to get herself heard.
Rimmer and Lister looked back at the four girls in utter shock.
"WHAT?!" They both screamed.
"Yes, you heard me. All this, is our fault. We won't take responsibility for that drunken kiss-"
"HOW the smeg did you know about that?"
"Come off it Lister, I know everything! Anywayz, I was referring to the part where Tamba starts flirting with Lister and Krissie was bitching about Lister to Rimmer. That was all our fault. It was part of our plan to see how you two felt for each other and if you told us you loved each other then we'd save the day and have you two Get Off."
There was an awkward silence in the room as rimmer and Lister tried to comprehend the message in Psnowy's rambling.
"................ And this means what, exactly?"
"Well, Lister, Rimmer had indeed told us he was falling for you hard and fast-" the other three girls giggled at Milly's comment - "and you told us pretty much the same thing, so... we want you to look into each other's eyes and tell each other you love each other." Milly dragged Rimmer and Lister together so they were face-to-face, maintaining eye contact, as if she was about to declare them life partners.
"Well, it's true Rimsy. I love ya man."
"I love you too Lister."
"And I now pronounce you two boyfriends. You may now kiss the bride." Milly added the little pun as she winked at Rimmer. And he did just that; he grabbed Lister, pulled him real close to him and they had a damn good snog.
And they all lived happily ever af- oh, hold on.... not yet.
"So Krissie... I hope you're not homophobic..." Tamba said.
"Naah, not at all, why would I be afraid of my own house?"
They both laughed.
"Seriously though, I'm actually bi curious...."
"Well I'd love to help you out with that...." Tamba said seductively.
"Sure. Let's make this a more private thing, shall we?" Krissie whispered into Tamba's ear, and led Tamba out of the room for some sexy time. The look that Rimmer and Lister gave... it was priceless. They were about to ask what the smeg was with Tamba but it was as though Psnowy and Milly were psychic enough to say:
"Don't worry, she loves seducing people."
"Yep, that's our Tamba."
Cat and Kryten walked into the room.
"Aah, I see everything's gone well then Mr Rimmer sir, Mr Lister sir?"
"Yeeeah, we're all good. Don't look at me like that Cat, don't you wanna see your God happy?"
Psnowy and Milly found it inevitable to giggle and high five each other.
"Awww hell. Come here you two." Cat gave Rimmer and Lister a big big cat hug. "If you're happy, I'm happy. Just remember to feed me when I say."
"Not a problem, Cat."
NOW everyone lived happily ever after.
Mini-Epilogue - 2 years later
Lister was piloting on the Starbug when an unexpected visitor returned.
"Hey Lister."
"Rimmer! What are you doing back here?"
"Aah I was getting bored of all the adventuring, and saving people, and all that."
"Really? Well since you left there's not been a single mention of the Space Corps Directive."
"Wow, not even Kryten?"
"Nupp."
Awkward silence.
"How's things with Kochanski?"
"Not too bad actually." Lister sighed.
"It doesn't sound like it."
"Yeah..." Lister trailed off, looked Rimmer deep in the eyes, and spontaneously stood up and gave him a big big bear hug.
"I've missed ya, man!"
"I've missed you too, Listy!!"
They were both on the verge of tears at this point. They looked each other deep in the eyes again, and before they could stop themselves, they shared their first passionate kiss in over a year.
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ahhaa, i love this game;
ahhaa, i love this game;
some holidays on the beach would be great ;D
)