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Post by Rhi on Apr 5, 2009 10:28:39 GMT 1
I thought it would be a good idea to share some of the funniest jokes/puns we've heard. I'm in need of some good ones at the moment. I'll start us off with a pun. It's quite bad, but it made me laugh. -Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. Anybody else?  |
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Post by OhSooRandomm on Apr 5, 2009 10:43:24 GMT 1
lol i love puns, even bad ones -
well heres a crappy joke i saw somewhere in a newspaper or something
why do men love showers?
caz peeing in the bath is gross
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Post by B.eckii ♥ on Apr 5, 2009 11:50:09 GMT 1
I love bad jokes; you know, they're so bad you gotta have a giggle because of that.
This is one my mum told me, which I reckon is quite bad:
A man, lost in a desert, stumbles upon a lamp; remembering all the stories he heard about genies he picks it up and rubs it. After rubbing it three times, a cloud of sand puffs out of the spout and reveals a genie.
"For releasing me from this lamp, I shall grant you three wishes," the genie says, "but, think hard and wisely about your wishes before asking them."
The man nods, and sits down to think for a moment; it isn't too long before he grins to himself and states: "I wish I had all the beer in the world!"
The genie snaps his fingers, and instantly the man is surrounded by all the cans, kegs, and bottles of beer in the world. "You have two wishes left."
Once more the man starts to think, before telling the genie his second wish: "I wish I was the richest man in the world!" Once more, the genie snaps his fingers and bags upon bags of money surround the man.
"One more wish left; think very wisely about this one," the Genie advises, crossing his arms.
The man didn't think at all, and instantly yelled out; "I wish to be the one thing that all women need!"
The genie nods once more, and snaps his fingers, and the man turns into a tampon.
Some other bad jokes I know:
What does a king do when he burps?
He issues a royal pardon.
What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic?
Iceberg.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotasaurus
Some funny ones:
A guy breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”
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Post by Harriet Listing? Hmm I like it on Apr 5, 2009 11:54:36 GMT 1
This Joke My mum heard on TV and never stops telling it -
Have You Heard Of The Magic Tractor?
It Turned Into A Field!
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Post by neonlights on Apr 5, 2009 15:14:40 GMT 1
even though i love him.. what was john lennon's last hit? ... ...... the pavment  |
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Post by xlouisex on Apr 5, 2009 15:29:30 GMT 1
LOL i cant help but laugh at bad jokes i'll be back when i remember some |
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Post by Ecomo on Apr 5, 2009 15:30:58 GMT 1
Ahh, i love crappy jokes/puns.
I've had these two on my myspace for ages xD
'If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either'
'How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!'
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Post by starrystar101 on Apr 5, 2009 15:49:59 GMT 1
There is a psychiatrist sitting in his office when his next client comes in.
His client is completely naked except for the fact that he is wearing cellophane for underwear.
The psychiatrist takes one look at his and says, "I can see your nuts"
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Post by stephTH on Apr 5, 2009 15:58:53 GMT 1
lool. crappy jokes! xD my favourite joke ever is still, 'a man walks in to a bar, ouch.'  |
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Post by neonlights on Apr 5, 2009 16:02:00 GMT 1
bahaha!
my mum told me a joke agresssss ago and i STILL dont get it..
three men are sitting on the floor, one fell off.
I DONT GET IT! lol
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Post by xlouisex on Apr 5, 2009 16:04:43 GMT 1
i dont get it either
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Post by neonlights on Apr 5, 2009 16:11:52 GMT 1
yay! im not the only one xD
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Post by stephTH on Apr 5, 2009 16:28:18 GMT 1
idgi either.
am i missing something obvious?
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Post by neonlights on Apr 5, 2009 16:30:57 GMT 1
ahah i have no idea :S
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Post by starrystar101 on Apr 5, 2009 16:33:50 GMT 1
You can't fall off the floor? :s
urmm, it's long but worth it. (And you put the names of the people your telling it to instead. I'll just to put it as A and B etc.
So A, B and C were flying over a rain forest when their plane crashed. They were rescued by an undiscovered by humanity, cannibalistic tribe. They ere told that they would be eaten, but they had a chance to save themselves and go free. All they had to do was collect ten of the same fruit.
So they all went off, and A came back first with ten apples. What A was then told to do was that they had to put them up their 'behind' without making a sound or a facial expression. If they made any noise or anything, they would be eaten. A got to apple 6 before they couldn't stand it anymore and let out a sob. So A got eaten.
Then B came back with 10 grapes. They were told the same thing, and easily got to grape 9 before B burst out laughing. B got eaten and went up to heaven where they met A. When A asked B why they'd started laughing when they could of got off free and alive, B answered, "I just saw C come over with 10 pineapples"
Took forever to write, but it's one of my favourite, if not long, jokes.
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